Author: richardasplin

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“Entertaining, sometimes brilliantly funny…” Chortle.co.uk

When gorillas meet grapples in gruesome groovy get-up… Yes! Thank HAYSTACKS the DPP were there to remove this 1969 Mexican wrestling/monster movie mash-up from the eyes of innocents. And bless BIG DADDY I’m here to take you through it!

Movie legend Rene Cardona directs a cast of hammy have-a-go heroes and dastardly doctors in this bloodthirsty tale where masked Lucha Libre toss opponents from the ring…while a half man half ape abomination tears Mexico City folk to bloody shreds.

WHO is the wrestler in the red mask, and does Batman’s copyright lawyer have her details?

WHAT is the deformed creature that stalks the indoor sets, unconvincingly sprinkled with grass cuttings?

HAS the make-up department honestly never seen a monkey before? I mean, EVER?

Join Richard Asplin for a horrific adventure with a bloody ape – aka Spurious George – and discover a world of wrestling, resuscitation and a riotously rubbery rampage.

Richard Asplin is an award nominated novelist, comedian, pub quiz host and has written for The Guardian and The Sunday Telegraph.

 

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-3mfb7-18ba3dc

“Entertaining, sometimes brilliantly funny…” Chortle.co.uk

More?! Surely not! Hello Ban Fans! Its me, your horror host Richard Asplin. Just dropping by for a moment to offer you a free glimpse into the newest “XXX-Rated Extras” “Bonus Episode. For those with a fascination of what goes on BEHIND the camera, how low-budget horrors get from script to screen and why so much VHS on the Banned list was badly lit and crackly recorded by wobbly cameras on cardboard sets…the answers revealed! We’re taking a hilarious look at the bonkers budgets and painful productions that created our favourite nasties and explaining how you could have made Blood Feast 20 times over for the cost of Avengers-Endgame catering budget…

The full show is of course available exclusively for subscribers – a club you can join via Patron or Apple Podcasts.

But to tempt you, here’s a little slice…

Richard Asplin is an award nominated novelist, comedian, pub quiz host and has written for The Guardian and The Sunday Telegraph.

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-dkvdc-18ba377

From the studio that somehow brought you ‘Downfall’ (the last days of a meglomaniacal insane fascist lunatic) and ‘Willy Wonka’ (the last days of another meglomaniacal …oh you get the idea), probably the goriest yet campest piece of Teutonic soft-core silliness and fairy tale filth!

While 70’s barmy Britain served up the soft, saucy sex-comedies of Robin Asquith and Fiona Richmond,  from Germany we have this! What happens when classic fairy tales of princesses and enchantment meet nubile naked booby woodland rumpo along with talking dogs, dopey dwarves, sexy spells and very horny toads?

It’s exhausting, it’s humourless, it’s joyfully ridiculous.

Imagine Disney replaced Rachel Zegler with Kenny Everett.

And then let Sid James & Co borrow the set of The Princess Bride for a dirty weekend.

Add some giant comedy cocks and “einer Chuckle Bruden” and tah-daah!

Straight from the DPP List 3 bin-bag…it’s a hilarious romp through the Grimm side of Euro-smut…episode 7 of Let’s Get The Banned Back Together – THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SNOW WHITE!

Richard Asplin is an award nominated novelist, comedian, pub quiz host and has written for The Guardian and The Sunday Telegraph.

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ybgti-18b04f4

“Entertaining, sometimes brilliantly funny…” Chortle.co.uk

For loyal subscribers, the second BONUS EPISODE – an open discussion, full of facts, figures, flops and favourites as we join hands and bank accounts and put on our best auditing trousers to ask the biggest question. Why are so many of the films on the DPP list such unwatchable crap?

If lavish quality productions like ‘Cleopatra’ and ‘Dr No’ were possible in 1963…what the hell is going on with the wigs in ‘Blood Feast’? If technology can bring ‘The Birds’ and ‘The Great Escape’ to the big screen convincingly… why can you see boom microphones dropping into shot during The Ghastly Ones?

So we’re opening the curtains and letting in some daylight on the bad scripts, wobbly cameras, corny stories, wooden acting, unlit scenes, inaudible dialogue, shoddy titles and crackly music. Gory is one thing, sure. Gruesome is another. Shocking and sleazy? Why not. But often it’s the appalling amateur production values that are the most traumatising part of these tapes and have us reaching for the remote.

Comedian, novelist and pub quiz host Richard Asplin takes you through stories and stats of production costs, budgets, financing, schedules and investments of the low-budget indie movies we’re ‘enjoying’ to unearth why you could have made and marketed ‘The Evil Dead’ from the leftover coins in the coffee machine on the backlot of ‘Avenger’s Endgame’…

Press play…if you dare…

Richard Asplin is an award nominated novelist, comedian, pub quiz host and has written for The Guardian and The Sunday Telegraph.

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-wh8hv-18ae26f

Well it couldn’t stay fun for long. On the flip side of the silly splattery slapstick, the movie monsters, fake blood and prosthetics…this. The first true ‘exploitation’ in our ‘exploration’.

A nasty little exercise in soft core women-in-prison unpleasantness, the movie that launched the thankfully short-lived nazisploitation trend, from the director of Mondo Bizarro, Love Is A 4 Letter Word and Hollywood’s World Of Flesh. This early effort virtually created this unpleasant Women In Prison genre of exploitation picture, whihc brought us 1971s Women in Cages and 72s The Big Bird Cage both giving the world an early glimpse of the legendary Pam “Foxy Brown” Grier. 

WHO are the two brave women sent to enemy territory to be picked up and imprisoned?

WHAT is the weapons-grade secret they have been sent to retrieve from poor Martha Grossman?

HAS this entire piece of nonsense really been shot on one cardboard set over a weekend?

HOW MANY times can they claim this is a true story shot on location when it clearly is snuffy titillating drivel knocked up by a bored theatre group?

HONESTLY – the German Shepherd is the only watchable thing in it. And he still looks like a wrong ‘un.

God bless the BBFC who got rid of this forever. If you want to know how and why, join me for an adults only edition of Lets Get The Banned Back Together – Episode 5. LOVE CAMP 7

Richard Asplin is an award nominated novelist, comedian, pub quiz host and has written for The Guardian and The Sunday Telegraph.

“Entertaining, sometimes brilliantly funny…” Chortle.co.uk

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-57g56-18a5528

Oh he’s a mad doctor all right. Not like your usual furious GP. He’s not banging on about NHS cuts, Health Secretary appointments or Covid Mask policies. He’s mad…with power!

A year after one Romero set the horror bar high with Night Of The Living Dead, his namesake lowers it a good foot and a half with this Philippines jungle shocker!

WHY did a young boy bleed green blood and turn insane and drown himself…only to turn up 5 years later?

WHY do the dates on Dom Ramon’s coffin not tally with the dates on the letters he sent his son?

And can you REALLY base a whole movie on a monster clearly created with Sellotape and lettuce?

Comedian, novelist and pub quiz host Richard Asplin takes you kill by kill through a spoilerific romp through the gravestones, ghouls and gore in episode 4 of this exploration into all the horror movies your government, your teachers and your parents NEVER wanted you to see!

Press play…if you dare…

Richard Asplin is an award nominated novelist, comedian, pub quiz host and has written for The Guardian and The Sunday Telegraph

“Entertaining…sometimes brilliantly funny…” Chortle.co.uk

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-tdknd-189aa04

Somehow from the same year as The Ghastly Ones, we – at last – discover what can happen when a skilful young director with high ideas meets offal-chewing ghouls with a low budget… the legendary NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD!

WHO is the monstrous man in the graveyard who attacks and eats young Johnny?

WHAT HAS BECOME of the owners of the abandoned house that hides corpses and rifles?

WILL the brave, bickering, brutal survivors get out alive as corpses begin to rise from the grave?

And HOW did George A Romero terrify a generation with exploding trucks, chicken-chewing children and one of the first black heroes in modern movies?  

Comedian, novelist and pub quiz host Richard Asplin takes you kill by kill through a spoilerific romp through the gravestones, ghouls and gore in a feature length episode 3 of this exploration into all the horror movies your government, your teachers and your parents NEVER wanted you to see!

Press play…if you dare…

 

Richard Asplin is an award nominated novelist, comedian, pub quiz host and has written for The Guardian and The Sunday Telegraph.

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-gpxr8-1898352

Hello Ban Fans! Its me, your horror host Richard Asplin. Just dropping by for a moment to offer you a free glimpse into the first “XXX-Rated Extras” “Bonus Episode. This 50 minute feature length tour is a time-travelling spin full of quotes, re-enactments, trailers, and tribunals – telling the story of how the Video Nasty moral panic of the early eighties came about.

Key players, key movies – all from the comfort of a time-travelling Delorean. The full show will be available exclusively for subscribers – a club you can join via Patron or Apple Podcasts.

But to tempt you, here’s a little slice…

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-bm4mg-1879f9d

Next up, we fast forward 5 years to a shocking tale of whipping, wills, wigs and wickedness. It’s 1968’s BLOOD RITES! Aka THE GHASTLY ONES!

WHY have three couples received a spooky invitation to the old Crenshaw House?

WHY is the groundskeeper Colin kept chained in the basement?

WHO is painting bloody crosses and impaling guests on pitchforks?

And how did director Andy Milligan get the whole shoddy shambles in the can in 5 days?

Comedian, novelist and pub quiz host Richard Asplin takes you kill by kill through a spoilerific romp around the cardboard and crinoline of gothic horrors in episode 2 of this exploration into all the horror movies your government, your teachers and your parents NEVER wanted you to see!

Press play…if you dare…

Richard Asplin is an award nominated novelist, comedian, pub quiz host and has written for The Guardian and The Sunday Telegraph.

https://letsgetthebannedbacktogether.uk/

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Let’s Get The Banned Back Together – Episode One – Blood Feast (1963)

We begin our treacherous trawl through DPP’s list of forbidden films and corrupting cassettes with a deep dive into the oldest film on the list. Herschell Gordon Lewis’s BLOOD FEAST.

WHY is humble Miami caterer Fuad Ramses so keen to take on this order for a 18^th birthday party? WHO is the killer removing eyes, legs, brains and tongues from nubile Playmate models? And HOW did anyone think this 67-minutes of gory, titillating, cannibalistic 60’s exploitation guff was going to deprave the British public?

Comedian, novelist and pub quiz host Richard Asplin takes you kill by kill through a spoilerific romp across Miami in the first episode of this exploration into all the horror movies your government, your teachers and your parents NEVER wanted you to see!

Press play…if you dare…

Richard Asplin is an award nominated novelist, comedian, pub quiz host and has written for The Guardian and The Sunday Telegraph.

https://letsgetthebannedbacktogether.uk/